Our Father's Heart
These podcasts are intended to nurture, instruct, and help you understand what the Lord has said in His Word that you may walk in the manner worthy of your calling in Him. We pray that you are blessed, not merely in the hearing, but more so in the doing. Simply put, our utmost desire is to be in the Father's heart, to know the Father's heart, and express the Father's heart to you.
Our Father's Heart
The Lovingier Testimony (Part 4) | Ep. 156
In today’s emotional episode, we explore a couple's extraordinary decade-long journey toward starting a family. Reflecting on the ups and downs, their story is narrated through relatable metaphors and personal anecdotes, revealing the complexity of desiring children amidst the ever-present societal expectations. From their significant life change moving from Florida to Georgia, their candid conversations shed light on the multifaceted challenges they faced alongside the joy of anticipation. Each revelation builds upon the transformative experiences of navigating infertility, the accompanying emotional burden, and the light that faith provides through each trial.
They delve into the deep spiritual lessons woven throughout their time trials. Part of their journey was the decision to try fertility treatments, including IVF, and the unexpected twists and turns that came along the way.
Their reflections on their own struggles, clinging to hope will invite listeners to consider their own journeys of family genesis, emphasizing the importance of timing, faith, and love as we seek to embrace God's will for our lives.
"Message Our Father's Heart a Question or Response"
Thank you so much for listening and sharing with others!
We would very much appreciate you continuing to FOLLOW, SUBSCRIBE, and LIKE us through any of the following platforms:
Substack: https://ourfathersheart.substack.com/
Website: ourfathersheart.org
Podcast: https://ourfathersheart.buzzsprout.com/share
Twitter: https://twitter.com/@ofathersheart
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/ofathersheart
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ourfathersheart
May God bless you and make you prosperous in Him as you listen and obey His voice!
The vision received was that of blood cells traveling throughout the body, supplying the much needed oxygen and other nutrients to the differing members of the body to fulfill their purpose. Once the blood cells are spent, they must return back to the heart to be refilled before being sent out again and fulfill their purpose and fulfill their purpose.
Scott Lovingier:Yeah, that's kind of like how we moved here from Florida.
Patricia Ruiz:I was thinking there's a lot of parallels.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:A little bit. You know that lining up and all of that stuff.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:Because we had to sell a house over there a townhouse and we had to buy a house over here. Before Brooke was doing what she did with the videos, I was walking through the houses in 2006 and taking videos, sending it to her. Do you like this? No, you like it no, and then we found you know this one and um, the day that we signed a contract to purchase this one she called me afterward and said they found a buyer.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:We're selling and we were able to organize it to be able to sell and buy pretty much within days of each other, so we have enough time to sell it over there, drive up here and within five days we were moving in here, so it all worked out amazingly. I was thinking, amongst all of the sharing that you've done, that we kind of deviated, but I think that's where the story's going to continue now that we're in Georgia. Um, that you wanted kids and it was 30. I remember saying 30 and 25, no no the whole thing is.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:There's been a whole lot of revelations of things um, so it was 30 and 25 when I last spoke about he did really desired kids. Your heart was changing to kind of have kids and all of that time you spent 10 years in California you didn't have any kids. Is that because you didn't want the kids or?
Scott Lovingier:been 10 years ago. So then you would be.
Alycia Lovingier:It was two years into our marriage,
Scott Lovingier:Two years into our marriage, that was when it was like, okay, now would be an appropriate time to like actively start trying to build a family you know, we got the career going. You know, we got a place that we call our own. Her parents are gone. We got her marriage thing, you know. You know, working marriage was great. We've never had any problems in our marriage, um and like. Okay, like we're at the age and that's the next step you know obviously
Scott Lovingier:financially. We would have loved to have been in a better situation, but I think everybody would love to be better. So, and I've always had people tell me and now I tell other people, if you're waiting for the right time to have a kid is, you're probably never, you're just gonna always wait you know, and people have told me that like, so, just it, it's a good thing to have kids.
Scott Lovingier:You know, kids and and and life comes from God and he wants us to have kids, he wants us to build a family. So, like that's not something that you should, you know, hide or whatever anyways um so um, uh, we're like, okay, let's, let's actively, you know, go through the steps and you know, and um of having having a baby and um. You know obviously this podcast like spoiler alert.
Scott Lovingier:It took us 10 years but but, and so I say, I say that so the next part kind of makes sense.
Scott Lovingier:You know because we're, you know when, you when you make that decision you think well, it could happen any moment, you know like so we're, we're like okay we're having a baby and um, you know, and I'll maybe let you speak more on kind of the spiritual things that were happening during church services and, um, even before we kind of knew we were having trouble conceiving, people were just praying over Alycia's stomach. Maybe you can talk more on that.
Alycia Lovingier:I mean, it started fairly early on, Like we had that close couple that was really close to us. They were having kids, like okay, well, you know, we know it's going to take time. We would have people come visit the church. They were very they're known for like speaking words of knowledge and all that stuff and so like they pray and they I remember specifically the wife said um, I don't I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember the exact words because when you're in that moment, you don't remember everything specifically, but that it may not happen right away, but it will happen.
Alycia Lovingier:And so we're like, okay, well, you know, whatever you know. We kind of took that as, like you know, you're getting ready for the delay, right, exactly, we're like okay, well, you know, whatever you know.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:We kind of took that as, like you know, you're getting ready for the delay.
Alycia Lovingier:Right, exactly Okay. It wouldn't surprise us if it was like you know, a couple months, maybe a year or two. You know it's fine, whatever. And even at that time, like I was never like upset about not having it Cause I knew like, okay, well, you know, it's just not our time, like God just not want. It's hard to explain that, especially with like coworkers and stuff. They're like so when are you guys having babies? You know, when you started with kids and I'm just like, oh, you know it's going to happen, when it's supposed to happen. It's kind of hard to explain the God factor with people who don't necessarily believe in that. So I'm like you know, you know, like hey, like obviously, I'm like God's gonna make it happen when it's supposed to happen, like that's just and that's how I've always. My brain has always registered things like it may not be the brain out, but you know God said it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. He never gave us a timetable, technically, yeah. So I mean, you know who's who's to know,
Scott Lovingier:So people, multiple times I mean three, four times probably yeah that, and a lot of times it would be people who were not part of our church would just come and just start praying over Alycia's stomach, and the one lady was saying you know, it's going to be maybe a little difficult for you all to conceive, and God doesn't ever tell you time. God, God, is outside of time.
Scott Lovingier:He very rarely tells you time, just ask Carolyn, how long it took us to move, and so you don't. You don't think it's going to be 10 years yeah, you weren't expecting that, you don't you? Don't think that. Um so, after I don't what, three or four years probably. Now it's like okay we're having trouble. You know, maybe let's go get checked out, let's go see, is you know? Is it her, Is it me? You know where's the issue, because if you can find out what the issue is, then you can try to do something, try and fix the issue and the doctor's just .
Alycia Lovingier:Blood work came back normal. Everything on me came back normal. Everything came back like nothing.
Alycia Lovingier:There's nothing. Nothing was wrong with any of us like either of us.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:What did that do to your faith?
Alycia Lovingier:So we're like okay.
Alycia Lovingier:Like for me that kind of, in a way, it kind of confirms like okay, well, this literally is a god thing like it's really just it's God, we're waiting for something like to happen like you know God's preparing us for something um.
Alycia Lovingier:Granted, we didn't think it'd be that long, but we did kind of go through some of the process of what's called an iui um, which is it's a it's, it's very it's a medical thing that they do. Pretty much it's right before a step, right before ivF, when you go through in vitro fertilization. It's kind of like a step. They track everything and then you have to take medication and then they come in and you know, just explain it other than you know they have to mix everything together and then I have to lay there, you know, for a couple of minutes and then wait for everything to kind of, you know, chill out and I get to leave. So basically kind of jumpstart the process of you know, maybe it's just the connecting was the problem.
Alycia Lovingier:Everything connecting.
Alycia Lovingier:So we'll go okay, we did that a couple of times, nothing. We did that three or four times. The hormones were like horrific for me, like I and I had like work and I my job was very physical too at the time, so I'm like I have no focus at work, but these medications were definitely altering like how my brain was processing things. So we tried a couple times and then they're like okay, well, this is not working. So the next step would be like the injections and all that stuff. And then once I were like okay, so I went to the pharmacy, you know, to kind of see it was like $500, $600, right, so insurance did not cover.
Scott Lovingier:California insurance did not cover the insurance I had. I don't understand what you mean. The $500 or $600 for what? For, like the injections?
Alycia Lovingier:the injection portion of it the next step would be the injections, the injection portion of it. The next step would be the injections. Okay, they're a little bit more of a heavy medication and they just insurance does not cover that.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:And that's the kickstart. That's the kickstart, still the kickstart, yeah.
Alycia Lovingier:So like the next step above, right before IVF, but like it's kind of in between, and I was like we can't. It was like $500 or $600 for just one round of that, and who's to say it's going to be one round or it's from like 10. Like we're like we can't, we can't afford this. Like we were, I mean, we were fine at the time in our life where we were we're never. We weren't like getting ahead but we weren't like drowning either. We're kind of just, you know, breaking even, yeah. So I'm like we can't, we can't afford this. Like this is like 20.
Scott Lovingier:So I mean we're very much month to month you know, so anything outside of a big hit out of your budget is is a a big deal. And again, how many times we ever go after this every month for a year, you know like where's the end to this? So we did that a couple of times and then we just like, okay, it was pull back this is you know, basically, God, you just have to show up.
Scott Lovingier:If this is your will for our life, you're gonna have to do it, and if it's not your will for our life, then you're gonna have to work on our hearts and heal us you know, because you know this is obviously we want to want a child, we want a family.
Scott Lovingier:At that point we were thinking, you know, we'd like to have a couple kids and um, and. And then you know, then you get to the point where it's now been, you know, eight years and still nothing's happened. And you've been tested, and you've done these other medications and nothing's happening. Then you start going down some rabbit trails. You know, for me it was like, well, maybe we're called to adopt, maybe that's our path. So you kind of look into that a little bit. Then you're like, man, this is more expensive than medication. It's actually insane how expensive it is to adopt. And you're like, well, I don't know how we're going to do that. When you were looking.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:What was that like $100K?
Scott Lovingier:I don't think it's that much. $20,000?
Scott Lovingier:It's probably $20's still a lot of money we don't have that 20k just sitting around to go through those steps. And then my brain I'm like, well, maybe I'm just going to have a bigger role as an uncle, maybe that's where my investment goes into. We just spend more time with nieces and nephews and invest in their life, and that's kind of where my brain was going. But at the same time I'm still holding on to the word of God's going to give us a baby. It's still going to happen. So I'm still hanging on to that. You know. So you have there's. You know your, your flesh is telling you things and you're, but you're hanging on to the Spirit. You know cause. You're still human, I'm still.
Scott Lovingier:I still have thoughts of doubt, I still have thoughts of sadness and emotions and you know, you can talk about how many people around us were giving birth.
Alycia Lovingier:Yeah. You know, I mean even, honestly, it hit me more once, cause we took a break after we, so couldn't afford that. And then we kind of realized that's when we moved in with parents and we're like, well, God saved us from having a kid while living with parents. So we knew like, okay, well, that really wouldn't have been ideal.
Scott Lovingier:COVID hits.
Alycia Lovingier:Covid happened, so a lot of things kind of happened in between that and then moving here. So we kind of took a break during that time and then we knew we were moving. So we're like, okay, once we get moved and we get settled, then we can kind of start the process over again, start from ground zero. And so we moved here in like the end of June and then we're like, okay, once things get settled down, we'll kind of start at the beginning of the year, basically like we're gonna go full force and then, like you know, we'll start over again. You know, at this point, I'm 35, right, is that 35? 34, something like that? Um, and then so I go 34 and I'd be 39, yeah because in my brain.
Scott Lovingier:I'm like I'm gonna be 40 years old having a baby. You know I'm. My biological clock again is, like you know, gone. It's expired, so I went I went to.
Alycia Lovingier:Um, it's very different here in California, like you have to have referrals to go to different things right, so I just I and everything's different locations, um, so I had to find an ob. So I ob-gyn, um, and so we went, I did blood work and they do a test, um, and this test is supposed to make sure everything's kind of like my, you know, everything's open and flowing, everything's supposed to be going like the way it's supposed to you know.
Alycia Lovingier:So I get the test, did the test done and I was extremely nervous about it. So, um, I was kind of like in the pride. It was painful. I mean, if I'm completely honest, the test itself was pretty painful. I remember them saying some things about oh, it's coming back and like all these things. So I'm like I'm not really processing what they're telling, like what they're not saying it to me there.
Alycia Lovingier:I just heard them saying it, you're talking so I was like okay so I was like I mean that's weird but whatever, so I wait and then, I said what like, because what they're doing is they're pushing saline through everything, but what were they saying? They're saying like the, the fluid was coming back they're blocked basically yeah, like whatever.
Alycia Lovingier:It's supposed to not go into where it's supposed to be going, so it's coming instead of going up through it's coming back down gotcha, um, and it's funny because I didn't remember that in the time that time. But after looking back I remembered that being said and I was like, oh, that makes sense now. So well, kind of, so I get the test results I don't know, it was probably like a week and a half, maybe two weeks later and it says fallopian tube blockage or blocked. Okay, so I was like and I don't know a lot about the health field, but I know enough to know like, okay, well, it means like one of my fallopian tubes is blocked. I mean, at least that's, we found out what was going on, right, we found out the concern.
Alycia Lovingier:So at that point I go in. My mom was with me because Scott had to work, and I'm thinking like, okay, you know, one side's blocked, there's still the other side right, and she's like so both your fallopian tubes are blocked. And I was like what? Like I didn't, I didn't process. That was what I. I knew like one was, but they told me like both were.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:Not to be scientific, but the fallopian tubes is where the egg is released and stuff comes down into the uterus so were you having periods?
Alycia Lovingier:huh, like I had a little bit of trouble when I was a teenager as far as like that type of stuff, but once that, like once I started you know that sounds to you mine, but, like you know, once I started I was like everything was normal, like I could track everything, like everything we're doing, we're doing all that tracking you know we were trying Um, and so I was like, and they kind of like it could have just been me being in like my emotional state at the time, but I'm like so this is not to say that you can't carry a child, it just means that you know they're not the everything's not able to connect, to form you know an embryo. And so I'm still like kind of reeling from what she told me.
Alycia Lovingier:I'm still not processing it, so I'm like, well, that was very she probably said it fine, but for me, like I was in a hyper emotional state at that time where I was like that's it, like you're just gonna, I didn't say that but I was thinking that in my head. I was like okay, so they sent me to a place Sandy Springs in which is a specialist um, and so then we went there um you had the same test same, the same test.
Alycia Lovingier:They did. This was a. There's two different tests that they can do to test this thing, whether their fallopian tubes are open or not. I did one in California, um, when we initially started the process, and it came back normal like everything was fine. So then this one the one that I did here at my regular ob-gyn said that it was. They were blocked both blocked, right, okay.
Alycia Lovingier:So I was like okay. So I'm like mentally like processing as time goes on. Mind you, when I found out this part out, like within, like I want to say it was like the same week we found out like someone announced their pregnancy at church, I was like okay, like that's kind of like. That's when it started getting more emotional, emotionally hard for me it's because you know, I had been diagnosed with this specific issue and then all of a sudden so, and so you know, announces they're pregnant and it like it's kind of like a sucker punched, you know, to my stomach. I was like that was rough and pastor and Brooke knew kind of what we're going through. Them and my parents were kind of the only ones that really knew at that moment. So of course you know they want to check in on me to make sure I'm okay and obviously at the time I really wasn't like super okay, yeah, but I was like you know, it is what it is right.
Alycia Lovingier:So I go, we go finally make the appointment to go to the specialist, we both go get blood work and I get this other test done that I when I got done in California. It's a little more extensive, it's a better way to diagnose the concern that they diagnosed me with, and so I'm in there and I'd done the test before, so it was not. It's not a fun test to get done, um. So I'm like and I'm watching, because you can watch everything kind of go, they basically just like dye, so they shoot dye there and you kind of track the die going through everything and I'm watching it. I'm like, okay, like I kind of have an idea what's going on, um, and then the nurse or whoever was doing it, um, she's like so I mean, I'm just like everything looks great, like everything's flowing the way it's supposed to, and I'm kind of like what like? I'm like she's like are you, did you think something was wrong? I was told by my previous doctor there's no consistency here.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:I want consistency.
Alycia Lovingier:I was told my fallopian tubes were. Both of them were blocke d Like no everything's. I mean everything's fine, like everything went the way it was supposed to. There's no blockages there. And then she explained to me that the other test wasn't necessarily the best form of test to do to diagnose this specific concern.
Alycia Lovingier:So I was like it was like whiplash, because at the time I'm laying there I like I'm I'm confused because I'm like well, what that other?
Alycia Lovingier:test was wrong.
Alycia Lovingier:Yeah, wait what I'm like but this is still good news, because there's nothing wrong but then I'm like mad because that test I had to do I had to pay for out of pocket, which was not cheap by any means so I'm like these like waves of, like emotions were kind of going through all at one time. I'm like what is happening right now.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:Were you alone all this time, or was he with you During that?
Alycia Lovingier:test. He couldn't be there with me. I don't think you. I think you were there when I had the test done. We did so many different appointments.
Scott Lovingier:I can't remember which ones are which.
Alycia Lovingier:You were there when I had the test done because I couldn, I couldn't remember, I couldn't drive because, they gave me a medication to kind of help relax me, yeah, and so I couldn't drive and it was. You know it's not super close drive. So he was, you were there for the test, but, um, yeah, because I remember driving home from there because I went got blood work done too, yeah, so we were kind of getting all these tests done, basically blood work, all the tests already done at the specialist.
Alycia Lovingier:They do like genetic testing when they go extensive into all the tests and stuff so now the specialist says you're good right okay, so she's good.
Scott Lovingier:I'm good, everything's good, so she's like.
Alycia Lovingier:She's like, and so we have like a consultation once we get all the results back. She's like going over there. She's like everything looks great. So, based on your age you know, at the time I was 35 she's like we could do um what's called an iui, which is the first test that we did, or the first one we did back in California. That wasn't successful, right she's like, but since it didn't work before. We could just go jump straight to IVF which interviewer um intro.
Alycia Lovingier:I can't think right now, sorry but anyways, we go through, we go through that process.
Alycia Lovingier:But the funny thing is thinking back on it back in California, like going through IVF is like $40,000, $50,000 per round Okay, for just medications. The whole process right.
Alycia Lovingier:No, guarantee no guarantee that's even going to work Right. So coming here, obviously we both got jobs. The job I got had just so happened to get the insurance that covers 90% of IVF. Like the process not very. It's expensive insurance, it's not like every place gets this insurance. So the fact that like that, all kind of lined up, I'm like that's insane's insane. Like how that all played out, I'm like obviously I could see you know God's kind of hand and good.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:Otherwise we wouldn't be able to afford that Right.
Alycia Lovingier:So I, you know, I get a call. They're like okay, well, your medications are ready to start the process, so you have to go to you know, go pick up the medications. And she's like we're going through insurance. Like yeah, go and run through insurance. She's like okay. So I was like because, just because I was curious, I knew insurance, because I called insurance, asked like five million times, do you guys cover?
Alycia Lovingier:this, are you sure? Are you sure you cover this?
Alycia Lovingier:they're like yeah you know, they, they went there. We covered 90% of it. You know, obviously there's still stuff coming out of our pockets. But so I'm driving I remember vividly I'm driving home from work and they call me, like okay, well, we're going ahead to process everything. You just want to confirm everything. And she's like, since you're going through insurance, normally this would just one round of medications was 22 000 for just the medications. That's not like the process of them going in and retrieving the eggs and you know, planting eggs, all that stuff. That's just the medications. That's not going under anesthesia and all that stuff, because you do have to go under that as well. After um, you kind of get everything going, yeah. So I was like holy cow, that's expensive.
Alycia Lovingier:And you know, but I'm like you know thankfully God had provided me a job to where it was still not cheap by any means, but it was not $22,000 for medications. So at that point I'm having to take medications three times a day. I'm having to take it at work, um just take a time out for a second yeah.
j - Jesus M. Ruiz:Do you have any questions before we like go through the whole thing, or like if you were blessed and appreciate listening to this podcast and you would like to support us in our efforts, consider lifting us up in prayer first. Then remember these four social media buzzwords share, like, subscribe or follow. Share this podcast link with someone else by text, email or word of mouth in the hopes that they might be uplifted, as you were Like by leaving a positive rating or review with whomever you listen to our podcast. With Subscribe to support the show monetarily with the link in our podcast description, follow us on all our social media platforms. May God bless you and make you prosperous in Him as you listen and obey His voice.
